Sunday, August 8, 2010

YAY job!

So the other day I was driving by what I call the monolith on San Tomas and Central.  This was the last building, feat of creativity, my last company made into a reality.  We were a small team brought together to solve the problems of high paced schedules and less than competent Architects and Engineers.

I am not saying all of them are bad, but the mean skill level of these professionals leaves a lot to be desired.  I do look at the individuals that care and how they use their creativity to overcome obstacles.  I enjoy watching folk solving new problems; we are like a force of nature.

So...why do we have such trouble making projects work?  Well, it is due to the fact, humans can't manage shit (or crap, or poo, use whatever fecal equivalent that is most offensive).  Seriously, there are a lot of dumbasses still working with manager under their name on their tag.  And for the really good managers out there, I am sure you can point a few fingers of dead weight on your team.

Making these monoliths was my job two years ago.  Small team of 3 to 5 people making sure these erector sets went up without a hitch.  Company tolerated us due to our ability to make said company $50K a day.  We were the first to go when the downturn got bad.  I had offers to do this in: China, New Zealand Australia, Scotland, and Germany.  When I started my job hunt, the market turned into vast wasteland.

I was too overqualified for a drafting job, network support, serving coffee and shoveling out cesspools.

You hear about these morons spending eight hours a day, surfing jobs, re-writing resumes and cover letters.  Well, I was one of them.   My HR friend helped me to understand the new market.  Your resume had 15 seconds to sell you.  I would get phone interviews and they always ended with me being to overqualified.  I sure was not feeling overqualified.

We were taught to spice up the resume and make it all sparkly to capture attention.  I was busy trying to dumb mine down.  Not easy to look overqualified on paper.

Last Job: Turd-eater.

Interviewer:  So you were a Turd-eater?

Me: Yep!

Interviewer:  Any experience managing Turd-eaters?

Me:  Yep, four years worth of managing Turd-eaters.

Interviewer:  Sorry, you are overqualified.  Good luck.

Me: Overqualified?  To eat turds?

Interviewer:  Yes.  We want someone fresh to the business to learn Turd-eating.

Me: Yeah, but I have experience and am willing to work for shit.

Interviewer:  Yes, but if the economy turns, we do not feel confident you would stay on.  Another company may offer you crap to work for them and we can not compete.

Me:  Well, that is a pile of fecal matter!

I recently picked up a job.  Not due to my resume, nor filling out an application.  I was simply helping someone with their network difficulties when they asked if I knew anything about carpentry and building homes.  I now work as a Carpenter's Apprentice.

I think the biggest perk to this job so far is this;  I have received more praise for my work in the last two weeks, than the last 12 years in design work.

See you soon at a remodel near you,

C

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