Da Universe

As strange as the universe works, I guess it takes faith to believe in the master plan.

Around my birthday on Dec 17th something started nagging at me. It is like leaving the house and trying remember what you left behind. Dec 19th came and I realize what I had forgotten, or rather who.

My martial arts training is about being a better person. This has brought me fitness, knowledge, black belts and a level of compassion, tough compassion. It also earned me the responsibility of Sensei. Sensei in Japanese means teacher, doctor, one of higher knowledge. Translations are always difficult, and often misconstrued. As I learned, Sensei means guide, or one who guides.

Now Sensei, Master, Sifu are all terms that can be lumped into the same generic category as aspirin. They mean teacher. I thought Sensei meant teacher. It was their duty to teach people. Yes, but their higher duty is to find another person to groom as Sensei. Not teach, groom.

I inherited the title Sensei from my own Sensei, and the responsibility of finding the next one. I commented that if I can become Sensei, anyone can. Sensei laughed himself to tears and then wished me good luck.

As I trained students, I understood Sensei's laughter. There are people who train in the martial arts and their are people who stand out, specialists. And then...there are the Sensei. These are people who stand out, but for no particular reason. A specialist may have the greatest strength, or lightning fast reflexes or memorize details quickly, but a Sensei stands out from a whole herd of specialists.

One of my students, Tracy, stood out like this. He wasn't the strongest or fastest, even had difficulty learning some concepts. I decided to push him beyond the normal training, as I was pushed. He was unstoppable like a Juggernaut. His skill improved and he always returned with a smile. He lived for my challenges.

Tracy never showed off his skill or greatest, except in his humility and compassion. He understood how hard it is for people to train, live with pain. He showed his greatness by not showing it. I had found my Sensei.

So the date mentioned earlier, Dec 19th, was in 1988. It was not the date I met Tracy, not even the date I bestowed the title of Sensei on him. It was the date he died, in my arms. It was the date I began dying.

I can believe how fast time flies. I spent the last twenty years looking for someone to believe in. All the while, he was there waiting. I always had excuses for not really teaching or starting a school. Not enough money, no time, students don't want to believe.

I am determined to not let his memory turn into a shade again. I made it my goal for 2009 to make time for students and further my own training. This is where the universe steps in. I was laid off my job, which I cared less and less about, and now have the time to train. And better yet, to start a school.

As Sensei, I will guide people to better lives. And someone will find me that will have the faith to become the next Sensei.

Let the Way of Ascension begin,

C