So for the past few months, my yard as been continually plastered with a chaotic form of crop circle. Grass being ripped up. I mistakenly blamed it on Coons and I apologize. I did find out, it was the first wave of the martian invasion.
So While I was out cleaning my self-cleaning Cat Genie (cleaning self-cleaning? Don't get me started. That is a whole other angry blog). I was wearing my welding gloves for protection against Cat Poo, ICK!!! And this martian berserker came right a me, gnashing teeth and all.
Normally our intrepid hero would just dust this fool off by popping an airsoft cap in its ass. Not an easy task to clean Cat Poo with a 9 mil in each hand. But my insane Kungfu served me well in this intense hand to hand.I even caught it before it could scrabble a message in the grass about my Welding Gloves +6. Yeah, that's right smartasses, +6 for whooping ASS!!!! they have served me well in many martian skirmishes. And final smack from these gloves removes all memory of their magic.
I sent this monster back to its kind as a message, "Don't mess with us, we haz a fierce!!!" Yes, this is me taking the high road. I really wanted to brutalize the enemy and hang their piked carcass up for the martians to see, but High Command would have none of it.
I repeat my warning, the martians are coming. I stand as the lone sentinel against the impending onslaught.
I wait...
